I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
