out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
