I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
