"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
