Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
