dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can you bring me the toilet please
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
