in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
love makes seman taste better
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
