You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
