after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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