I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize