You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
