This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
