Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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