I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
