ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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