I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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