I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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