TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
