so explain again why im purple
no
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
