fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
how drunk are you?
Several
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
