My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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