my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
