Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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