I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
