is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
