Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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