he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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