An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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