We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
