so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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