I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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