anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
