lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
