I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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