How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
