ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
