Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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