How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
