I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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