i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
