roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
