I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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