glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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