Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
