Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
