I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
