i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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