He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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