If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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