break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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