I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
