sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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