so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
