She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
