I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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