Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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