Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
