I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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