If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
