so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
