i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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