Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize