Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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