He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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