my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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