Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
