it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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