she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
