I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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