True but thats because hes a fetus.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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