Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
